08.19.2013

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. -Buddy Hackett HOW COLD IS IT? An annotated thermometer 50 Miami residents turn on the heat 40 COLLEGE STUDENTS STILL WEAR SHORTS Californians shiver uncontrollably Wisconsinites go swimming 35 Italian cars don't start 32 Water freezes 30 You can see your breath You plan your vacation to Australia Wisconsinites put on T-shirts Politicians begin to worry about the homeless 25 Boston water freezes Californians weep pitiably Wisconsinites eat ice cream Canadians go swimming Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you 20 You can hear your breath Politicians begin to talk about the homeless New York City water freezes Miami residents plan vacation further South 15 You plan a vacation in Mexico Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you 10 Too cold to snow You need jumper cables to get the car going 5 You plan your vacation in Houston 0 American cars don't start Alaskans put on T-shirts Too cold to skate -5 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo Wisconsinites' stick tongue on metal objects Miami residents cease to exist -10 Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you Politicians actually do something about the homeless Wisconsinites shovel snow off roof -15 Too cold to think You need jumper cables to get the driver going Only ice chunks hit the bottom of the outhouse -20 You plan a two week hot bath The Mighty Monongahela freezes Japanese cars don't start -25 Californians disappear Wisconsinites button top button Canadians put on sweaters Your car helps you plan your trip South -30 Congressional hot air freezes -50 Hell freezes over Polar bears move south -65 All major universities are still open and requiring students to attend class! Remember the good old elementary school Days???